I just wanna be free~

I was desperate to hang out just now.

I was desperate to have a short position over weekend.

I was desperate.  And I know how desire can drive man crazy.

Off my charts.  Went to FB.

Whenever I have trading problem, I know, your ideas will pop! inside my head.
Whenever I wanted to do something, and I know, your ideas will pop! inside my head.
sometimes, I am just tired of the clashing ideas...

I am simply an ordinary person.  With ordinary desire that all man will have, with greed and with fear.
May be I also wanted to do what you advised, may be I am now in my transformation and I have too many clash of ideas that I am almost gonna burst!

I would love to have drinks with friends, watch movies with classmates, I would love to spend time with someone special over weekends.  And because of these silly desire, I caused myself so much burden... I desperate to hang out.  I texted many of my friends... I know, my best friends E and G are far away from me... I need to drive for 1 hour to meet them... and it is already 10pm here.  If I really do so, I would end up coming home late and mum will worry, people who love me will worry.

I remember a very meaningful story I heard this week, and the bottom line of the story is:
The difference between a Prison and a Monastery is, the people who are in the Prison, they simply do not want to be there.  And people who are in the monastery, they chose to be there.

I took a shower.
Cool my head.

Honestly, I just want someone to be with me --- And I can be the someone!  I can be my own best friend.

So, lets plan for activities ahead!
Next week, is a no active trading week, I would indulge myself in cakes, chocolates, dance, yoga, dance, movies, drinks, friends, travelling, char kuey teow, rojak, coconuts, workshops, meeting new friends, making mistakes, and making more mistakes! =)

Release the inner child in me!! Happy Happy!!